The quote and picture by Daila Lama made me think of behaviours he apply
differently compared to most people, and also how helps him to build his status and reputation so effectively in our minds.
In a behavioral terms you can say he’s an excellent empathetic listener!
From Huthwaite research we see some core verbal behaviours that outstanding performers apply a lot more often than their average peers when it comes to building trust and long term relationships. One is asking effective questions that make the other party reflective and contribute to a conversation of value to both parties. Another part is to give back valuable information – In the case of Daila Lama sharing his wisdom of value to the other party.
Empathetic Listening is one of the very powerful behaviours when building trust and a long term win/win relationship. However, we see it’s not a frequent behaviour applied by most people.
Why is that?
Empathetic Listening It’s not an easy skill set to apply.
More subskills are involved:
1. You need to have a caring and objective win/win mindset – A true focus, interest and understanding in how you can help the other person win from his/her perspective.
2. Superior questioning skills that not only explore, but also tests understanding of what is being said by the other person
3. Superior listening skills – That is not only to shut up and listen to the information given by the other person, but also to focus your mind and reflect on what is being said, so you can articulate and show that you have understood and care.
4. Superior presenting skills – Timing is everything – and not jumping in to early to give your solution or advice is core. When you have understood and the other person have expressed what value he needs from you, then it’s your turn to demonstrate how you can bring value and help the other person win and get his/her commitment to act.
What’s in it for me?
So it’s not easy, however extremely powerful when being executed well in your daily conversations. You might not be perceived as the Daila Lama, but maybe improving your reputation of being the trusted advisor, a true friend or parent that brings the clarity and value being asked for.
How to improve and integrate Empathetic Listenings skills?
To hone your Empathetic Listening skills you will sure need a best practice reference and a safe environment to practice and then:
Is it worth it?
That’s up to you to decide… 🙂